Crying, Lost to Their Sight

I’m lost to their love
Though I can say that they’ve tried
But though they are with me
They’ve set me aside

It’s true that they love me
And if they could they would try
Though nothing they say
Would stop the tears that Id cry

For all that they uttered
To comfort my tears
Would be silken lies
Whispered in my ears

And though I’m still loved
It will never be me
My place will be second
But I’ll let them be free

I won’t call their bluff
When they say it’s me too
When they tell me I’m special
When they tell me it’s true

And I’ll hide the truth
That which I know
I’ll hide my tears
And nothing will show

And it’s true that they love me
But it will soon fade away
For they give all they can
And they have no more to say

Because I’m lost to their love
Though they say that they’ve tried
We all keep pretending
We’re showered in lies

The Little Sadnesses

The little sadness’s of every day
They weigh upon my heart, my soul, my being
And despite every sweet soft word they say
The respite’s not enough to let me sing

The weary day, which darkens in the east
The fading light, which hearkens to the west
I cannot hear the star’s song in the least
And never was I worst than at my best

Losing ground and time and life now, quicker
Then the rushing waves and changing tides
When we all were young than we would bicker
But now the empty memories subside

The lost are lost, they never could be saved
This road is broken, which they tried to pave.

Willow Leaves

Wherever, whomever, whatever it be
I will stay there, right beside thee
Why ever, how ever, do not ask me
I do not know, I need no decree

For ever, for never, whoever was sure?
I have never known naught and I cannot concur
For time is unfaithful and lovers are bound
By time and by space and by love and by sound

There is all, there is naught, there is only me
I am full, I am hollow, I'm blind and I see
Wherever I go, should I know where I am
I can only be lost, I will always be damned

Why ever, now never, is all that is left
The giving and taking has left me bereft
And only you always leave me this way
Filled full of words and with nothing to say

A Fallen Star Will Yearn For Home

Surrounded by the cold night, she burns bright
But longs for many things a star should not
And so she falls and releases her light
Inside a tangled web she is now caught

There is a reason stars are far away
Far from all things which may wander too near
She burned too hot to stand the heat of day
The world was strange and filled her heart with fear

That which had pulled her down still had a hold
And she continued seeking for its source
But the fire inside had turned cold
And her decision now held much remorse

Oh true, she had found love and it was sweet
But she did not belong and oft it showed
Her spark and passion had lost most its heat
The weight of life became a heavy load

It happens when a star falls down to earth
And tries to be that which it knows its not
It loses most its warmth and most its mirth
Into a tangled web, the star is caught

But sometimes for the star it is enough
To learn of things it never would have known
To have learned love, although it might be rough
To trade fire for a light that different' shone

A fallen star will sometimes yearn for home
But even if she could, she would not leave
The tangled web that would not let her roam
Now holds her safe in its protective sieve

A star that comes to earth will change too much
To ever live alone within the sky
They learn to love to laugh to dream as such
That in the empty night they would now die

Sometimes a star will gaze into the night
And feel a tug for home, and miss the song
That she once sang and sent out on her light
And for the past she will begin to long

But the earth is full of those who fell
Who once looked down and wanted to be more
They saw life and love,and could not quell
The longing which took root within their core

Because the stars are watchers of the worlds
They watch the joy and sorrow, life and death
Turtles of the sky, around they swirled
Their lives too long, too slow to see a breath

Some never learn to bear the joy and pain
To bear the quickness with which seasons change
Some never adapt, driven insane
Some keep themselves apart and out of range

But others find they've gained more than they lost
And see the stars and do not need their song
The love they gained was more than worth the cost
They once more hear their song, and sing along

Midnight Confessions

I think of you now
In these moments before sleep
My memory brings images of your smile
The sound of your laugh
I can summon the feeling of your arms surrounding me, protecting me
If I close my eyes and imagine hard enough
I can feel phantom arms encircling me
And hear your soft whispers close to my ear
My heart feels strange
It is a sensation unfamiliar
Of love and longing all tangled up with one another
You are my star
Shining bright
Among so many stars in the sky
And yet to me
No other could ever match your brilliance
No other star holds for me the same wonder
I love you

Insomnia

The moon rises and new nightmares haunt my dreams
Sometimes I fear to close my eyes
Because they are right beneath the surface

I cannot tell now
If they are nightmares
Or dark omens of what awaits me
I have lost my hope
I have lost myself

Shadows are hunting me
They wait behind closed eyelids
And rooms where the light has fled
I wonder, what if this is all that is left?

And each night I wish for more pleasant dreams
But even my best memories
Cannot always keep the monsters at bay

And when I remember those times of joy, I wonder
If they were naught but beautiful dreams
Created by a mind which longed for peace
A hope fueled fantasy
Which has faded into dim remembrance

I search for the mistake
The one which opened the doorway
And allowed these demons access to my mind
But no matter how I try I cannot find it
My search yields nothing

The gate will not hold forever
The shadows are breaking through
I wish for peace

The Key to my Castle (Is Yours) ♥

My heart, it is a stone castle of old,
With a stone gate which gardens do surround
The multitude pass by, it is unfound
But in the garden tread some of the bold

And further still, into the parlor some
Are entertained with high tea for the day
Then most depart and even fewer stay,
To wander corridors, some light, some glum,

A select few have rooms, should they depart,
Open for them, these rooms shall always be,
But unto you have I given the key
The key to every room within my heart

The second that you walked in through the doors
I saw then that my heart was always yours
♥

A Letter to my Beloved

This day mine eye looked into heaven's face,
And gazed upon the beauty passing there,
And contemplated then thy simple grace,
Compared to thee, the heavens seemed not fair

The light thee radiates, thy wit and charm,
Hath thus enraptured both mine heart and mind
Even the stout of heart, thee will disarm
With but thy smile, the sad will, thus, joy find

Thou art the sun, a bright and stately thing,
That though a cloud may overshadow thee
The light and beauty which thou alwayst brings,
Shines ever through, and can by all, be seen

Thou art so great, thy radiance so fair,
However far I be, it reach me there

For Sarah

To my love, my knight, my light;
To my angel, shining bright,
Golden sun and ray of dawn,
And when the whole world is gone,
My love for you will still live on

Warning Label

As a child, no one gave me fair warning
None told me love was full of pain and tears
My mother did not sit me down and warn me
That after love, despair is all you hear

Perhaps if they had told me of the pain
The sorrow and the heartache that would follow
Then from all of this I would have abstained
Then my heart would not feel quite so hollow

I think now of the quote "to love and lose"
And wonder if for me, the quote holds true
Once happy memories, now bring the blues
And smiles now for me are rare and few

Yet through my tears your love has brought me light
Has altered me, forever changed my sight

Charades

Four letters
One syllable
Sounds like shove
My hearts been shoved down a flight of stairs

First letter is L
As in Lost
I seem to be lost without you

Last letter is E
As in Endless
Sometimes this heartache seems endless

Second letter is O
As in Obedient
My heart followed obediently to its destruction

Third letter is V
As in Victorious
In Love, Heartache is the only Victor

Synonyms include
Affection,
(Thief, Sorrow)

Amour,
(Heartache,
Calamity)

and Fondness
(Lonliness,
Insecurity)

Definitions include:
a strong positive emotion of regard and affection
butterflies and giggling
any object of warm affection or devotion
knowing all else pales in comparison
beloved, a beloved person
having meaning and value greater than all the world combined
be enamored or in love with
feeling complete

Commonly associated words:
Loss, heartache despair,
You

Heart Ache

My heart crumbles within my chest
Soon there will be naught but ashes
But still my mind won't turn itself from thoughts of you
This pain within, I cannot banish
And though I know you have finnished loving me,
I cannot let you go
Because I do not feel like I have finished loving you

It hurts more than just from losing you though,
Part of the pain is from not thinking it was worth talking about
Before it got this far,
For giving up on me like this,
Making me feel 13 years old again
In a new foster home
Hoping this time they would love me enough to keep me
That this time they wouldn't send me back
When they realized I was not
In fact perfect

And though rationally,
I know that you are finished with me
I can't help but hope
Deep deep inside
That you can forgive me

Daughter of the Trees

I am a dryad in the wood
I am the trees of green and gold
I hear the whispers that I should
I smell the roses strong and bold
I taste raindrops falling strong
I touch seasons through the breeze
I feel the forest's ageless song
I am a daughter of the trees

An Angel In Disguise

Made of hope, illusioned beauty
Starlight driven from the sky
A human child torn and bound
Fate mapped out and doomed to die
She was hope and love and chance
But never had a chance at life
She could not give up what she was
Through any pain, heartbreak or strife
For hope, it was her only curse
Hope was her eyes, her voice, her being
And the world, it held no place
For a child with hope for wings
And so hope had turned against her
For it ripped her seam to seam
Her hope that once had been her gift
Now stole from her her very dreams

Patchwork Of Shadows

I watch the sky as darkness grows
Waiting for when the starlight shows
But though I wait and hours pass
No light appears at all, alas!
I finally know, the light is gone
And there is no approaching dawn
And stars are gone as well; I weep!
The darkness thickens, cruel and deep
No light is there and none to come
But still, I hold out hope for some
I will not let it slip away
Though it lessens every day
I cry alone, my fate appearing
As my hope is disappearing
When the stars are gone from the sky
No hope to live, no will to die