Soft Embers in the Night

Sweet young lovers love with passion true
Ferocious flame within, kindled by two
And all around these fires burning bright
Feel deep within the chilling lonely night
And so with desperate kisses, pleading touch
Sad lonely souls speak little, asking much
Sparking dying embers, longing for more
Unsatisfied with now and with before
Searching for more, they lose what might have been
Instead of heart to heart, just skin to skin
Sometimes sad lovers learn to love again

We Reach the End

By times cruel passage have we all been brought
And lost, within waves of oblivion
Love to be found, and dreams we might have sought
Have thus been cast from our dominion

Fate, sometimes so sweet, now tastes quite bitter
And all we might have been's gone with the dust
The trials and the terrors we have endured
Seem now to burdensome to ever be just

The choices have been made- the lines been cast
We are too broken now to then repair
And though often we dream of times long past
We know, never shall we returneth there

For mistakes, once made, none can undue
And lies we tell ourselves the most untrue

Hopelessly In Denial

I can't decide what you are more

irritating or intriguing?

Of course, for me, its both.

I can't stand the sight of you

But I can't stand the absence of you either

And of course,

You don't care.

Not if I think you're 

irritating

Not even if I think you're 

intriguing.

But I don't care, either.

Why should I?

Why would I care

that you don't care?

And

why would I care

that you don't care

that I don't care?

Who cares what you do or don't care about?

Not me!

You voice you're opinion so strongly,

it intrigues me,

piques my interest.

But then

I remember what you don't care about

And you just irritate me.

I roll my eyes

and walk away.

And

of course

you don't notice.

But I didn't really notice

that you didn't notice.

I was too busy not caring.

I walk by and I see

that you're reading my favorite book.

Not like I was paying attention 

to you,

I just noticed the book.

So I went over and mentioned

how much I love it.

You barely notice.

You barely notice,

but barely is something.

It means you did notice

just

an itty bitty bit.

I smile.

But I don't care,

not really.

I barely even noticed that 

you barely noticed.

In fact, I'm paying so little attention

to you

that when I turn around

I don't notice

the gaze in my direction,

the look you give me.

But what does it mater?

I don't really care

Right?

Katches

Confused as one but they are two
Though perhaps the former is more true
With one another they laugh and sigh
Though sometimes their tempers fly
And though their livevs may sometimes shift
From one another, they'd never drift
For their friendship's assuredly strong
And love is but the best of bonds
Of course, often, they make mistakes
And sometimes different paths they take
But no matter what, their whole lives through
Best friends they'll be,  both me and you!

Words Call to Skin

I call to you

Using my words

To wrap gently around you

Caressing your thigh, oh so softly

Fingers of verbs and nouns

Running fingertips down

Your spine

Until you look up, shivering

Knowing the power of my voice

The strenth of my thought

Turned to sound

They call to you

Who Is She?

     Who is She?
This child who is not a child,
This woman refusing what she has become?
A child who must grow up
A girl who wishes to run away
Not to face age
Or adulthood
A girl who is a woman
But still a child
Who screams out for wings
To fly away
To run from her problems
And escape to that place where children
Remain children
But the wind brings back her cream
Leaving no reply
And so this child who is not a child
Is forced to ask herself
Why she, who is a woman, is still a child
And she asks,
     Who am I?

Trapped in a False Eden

   Trapped in a false Eden
Mountain walls climb high holding in
     The lost
Tempting is the forbidden fruit
But hidden
   Hidden away like the untrue paradise
Surrounded by another kind of forbidden fruit
   Guards set their piercing stare
Keeping us enclosed
   Too far from what I seek
Their power misused and abused
   Held in front of lost children
Children without home
     Or family
   Home has become a place
Seen only on weekends and holidays
   Guards set their piercing eyes
Daring one to grab for the fruit
   A false Eden of whispered lies
Segregated from society
     Eden of the Lost

Sequel to: My Heart Shaped Sharpener or When My Sharpnener Broke

Long ago
I leaned far over a concrete ledge
So far from the ground
And I posed a question;
Then you said
"I'll never let you fall"

Now as I lay far away from you
In distance
With my heart a million miles
From you
Or maybe right beside you
And as I lay in a bed
That's not my own
I ponder your reply

With the red sun high
In smoke covered skies
I wonder
Where were you when I fell?

My Heart Shaped Sharpener

Your fingertips run softly across my skin
Causing me to pull closer and draw in breath
You hold me in you arms
So softly
As if I were fragile or precious
Something rare and delicate
You kiss me and it feels as if you hold my life somehow
     with your lips
My eyelids flutter
As my fingertips trace the soft
Curve of your ear
You know I'm teasing you
And I giggle

I sit on the thin concrete wall
Suspended over four stories of empty space
And your hands reach out and pull me back
Keeping me safe
You tell me you'll never let me fall
I smile and lean against your chest
Letting your arms encircle my body
As I hold on to you
My last anchor
We spend most the night in each others' arms
Surrounded by strangers
But truly
We are together and alone
In our own world
Safe from outside intrusion

Suddenly I'm afraid
Afraid of losing this moment
And this night
Afraid of it disappearing into a catalog of memories
I'm afraid of losing you
Almost as afraid as the first night we said goodbye
You hold me closer and I'm glad
But as I lay against you
I realize I don't have to cry anymore
I have you
And I believe I always will

Blossoms

  I sat watching
As golden hair fell to the floor
And I stared at a woman
     Who was not mother
And a girl who was her daughter,
A girl who was not my sister,
And as I sat
     I saw her

  Standing tall and still
Slender white arms stretched towards
     The sky
 Reaching

A soft flowing dress of green
Ornamented with pink blossoms
Fingers outstretched


At her feet
Grass blew
Surrounded more so by dead things
Left alone
With things
   That were not her brothers or sisters
In a land that was no longer
      Her home
Alone
And I cried

A Heart of Ash

Everything must pass away
I thought upon an autumn day
As the cold sun sunk to the west
I clutched the dagger to my chest

The road which brought me to this place
Was dark and empty, lacking grace
It was a stormy path I'd tread
Turning my being, into lead

Gone from my chest, inside all hollow
I chased love and death had followed
But escaping was the trick
My body fine, my heart was sick

And so I sat and watched the sun
Knowing now the pain was done
The cold sun sunk into the west
I sunk the dagger in my chest

Losing Innocence

Dreams of children fall apart
The first time that you break your heart
Stars turn deaf ears to those who wish
The rain is tears instead of a kiss
Flowers silence their now mute souls
Creating in your heart a hole
A child's god, Once Upon A Time
Has left this child with naught but rhymes
No promise of flight liners in the air
No secret land, enchanting and fair
A voice echoes aloneat night
The stars still shine, but you cannot find the light
The trees won't speak, the tides won't play
She begs , but fairytales have flown away
In a land where flowers lie
A child must grow up- or die

Missing

The soft pattering rain
Dripping silently through an almost grey sky
No stars
Tears falling from heaven for comfort
Consolation for many things
No stars
And no arms
No warm steadying hands
-Standing still-
Listening
Almost silent splashes
As the skies tears
Glimmer off the cold concrete
Lost in the falling rain
Almost filling an empty void
The world's pain
Almost
But there were no stars

A Ticking Clock Slowly Overtakes Me

She sits and waits
Watching seconds tick by
And she dreams
Of Better Days,
Weeks,
Years

She waits
For time
For when it runs by

Thinking only of the future

Then
Horror strikes her and
Terror forms and unvoiced cry

A realization crashing in
that she waits
for Death
Cold air comes and chills her soul
Thinking, perhaps
She will run out of time for her future
Cold air
Cold thoughts
And two words: No time.

Dying by Shadows

They murder my very soul
Digging blood coated finger nails through my skin
Ripping at my essence
My ME

I am unable to hide
From this part of me
This miserable, lonely part of me
And it kills me slowly

Inside my heart is invaded
And left in ashes
I sit, huddled
Crying

These shadows
Biting through my last defenses
Until nothing is left
Nothing to tear away

I'm dying
Dying by shadows

Le Theatre

In the eerie, deathly glow
Starts a haunted, ghastly
Bringing fear and shocks of fright
In a horrid greenish light
Figures dance across the stage
Bringing about a treacherous age
Showing scenes of nightmarish horror
Shocking images of terror
Life all passes, green and red
Layers of the horror shed
Martyrs dying without a cause
Tortured souls with no clause
Fascination with the dead
Bodies fall, heavy as lead
Soul-less bodies, burning in fire
Hopelessness, the world turns dire
Now blue, the stage, suddenly turns
In angel eyes, a soul now burns
Spirits rise around it's sword
Circling and rising forward
And then the curtains all fall back
As the stage goes deathly black

Ode to Chaos

Stand Aside
 Let us meddle with the fates
  Whose to say chaos cannot control?
 We all do not love your ordered ways
  And we all will not quit.
   We will live for the time
 When Order is defeated and Chaos reigns.
Stand aside.

Untitled

A silver disk, a lighted candle
Shining on to me
Giving me the hope of freedom
So one day I will be free
Solid grey, a rock, a stone
I sit on today
It seems so cold and so forbidding
Not like the moon, my light
The grass is wet, not from my tears
For those do not exist
But inside, my tears are cried
And their my pain persists
I rise from without the grass
I do not want it's lonely touch
And as the wind rustles my hair
I leave my sorrow for just such
As the night which seems so dark
But truly is as light as day
If you watch the shining stars
And listen to the words they say

A Poem To A Friend, Written Long Ago

Quiet is the woods around,
Silent is the surrounding,
Then suddenly, there is a sound
Of a young girl, who is drowning

Cold water rushes through her hair,
Passing through her very being,
She screams a silent shout of death,
For soon, she will know nothing

Life she knows is disappearing,
For nothings left to make her fight,
To stay alive, to fight the tide,
She has nothing to keep in sight

And slowly drifting down, she is,
Until a pull, she feels,
Someone trying to save her life,
Hold her until her wounds are healed

She doesn't fight this kind, strong grasp
But neither will she aid,
Who knows if this friend of hers,
Will stop and then will fade?

Understanding the World Around

Lights
Shining down
Calming my train wrecked soul
So I can breathe
If only once
And then of course the eye of the storm is gone
And my head screams
My heart cries out
My soul screeches
It's anguish to the high heavens
Letting all this fall wildly around me
Unable to understand
The Sound
And so I look to the waves rolling lightly about me
Feel this cool breeze
Even though I know
It all is just
My demented illusions
My unknown delusions
I stop
I am no longer speaking
I am just tumbling forth
my Thoughts
All unorganized
And then comes that slight moment of clarity
I understand the rolling waves
The light breeze
The shining lights
And then
For just a second
I understand the sound

Drowning Under Crimson Waves

Voices screaming in my head
They whisper words, words that are dead
And no one hears this desperate plea
Surrounded by the deepest sea
Drowning in my crimson waves
But still the voices, they do rave
And tell me of the darkened night
Of a place devoid of light
Where an echo of my screams
Will be the only thing which seems
To be real, to be right
Now my mid is in sure flight
To get away, to search for peace
To where these screams will surely cease
The only place where I am calm
Is when he holds me in his arms
So come and hold me once again
Silencing this raucous din
And let me whisper in your ear
The words I need you to hear
Those three words, I long to say
To you just once more today
They come out so hard, a verbal maze
I love you, forever and always

See That Star

See that star, my wish came true
For right now, I have you
For how long, I do not care
All I know is I won't share
I'd like to know, but that can wait
Because my wish came a little late
I'll wait now for your arms, your touch
Your kiss, Your love and comforts, such
When I'm held by you, my heart's content
It knows now. you meant what you said

When We Spoke

Cold December Winds
Crying through the night
Silent sobs of sadness
As death overcomes life

Bleeding crimson tears
Still and cold as stone
Sits a dead and bitter heart
A heart that sits there all alone

When did the sand begin to fall?
Why did I not see it slip away?
Was there something I could have done?
Is there something I can say?

Lost

Have I lost you?
How would I know?
Were you mine?
And when did you go?

Did You, Would You, If You Could?

Did the stars whisper my wish?
Would you, could you, tell me yours?
If you found that I was gone,
Would you search on distant shores?

Would you know that it was true?
From you, I could never hide,
And if I told you of another,
Would you know that I had lied?

And so, I ask you, do you know,
My heart rest's calmly in your hands.
And if you found that I was gone,
Would you search in distant lands?

Dearest Love

On the morrow of my death,
     When I take my own last breath,
The heavens' will dare not shine down,
     For fear my love shall see and frown,
And question them, upon their grief,
     The howling winds, the crumbling leaf,
And they will tell him that I did die,
     And whispered, my last breath, "Goodbye"

In a Dark and Dreary Nation

In a dark and dreary nation,
Where all souls screamed in despair,
A princess, born into her station,
Cried among the dead, carried through the air,

Heard among a rush of Willows,
Tears extended through a rose,
Blood that falls from eyes to color,
Sadness, that of line of prose,

Staring down to see her crying,
Was a knight of shining steel,
Black in colour was his heart,
So cold, impossible to steal,

She looked up to see him staring,
His eyes, though dark, no longer cold,
He loved her unintentionally,
Impossibly, his heart, she stole,

And her, who had grown so closed,
Who would share her soul with none,
Looked into his eyes, despairing,
And told him of her heart, so stunned-

She cared to tell what she though,
She wanted him to know her dreams,
Her wish was him, She loved him dearly,
Perfect, then, it almost seemed,

But, alas, it was not true,
For forever is a lie,
And all the time they had for love,
Was between Hello- Goodbye

She Listens

She listens just to hear his voice
She talks to let him know she's there
She hears his laugh, she feels his words
And all these things are what they share

Her thoughts are sharp, her heart is cold
But when they leave these two alone
His words are soft, her love is free
Their loves not for the world to see

Speaking of Chaos

In sense I make a poem of love
In confusion, all above
Seeking skies of amber grey
That rain down tears of yesterday
If you'll hold me in your arms tonight
The worlds not such an awful plight
Be the star to whom I wish
All I'll ask for is your kiss
I'll speak of dreams, I know you'll hear
And tell you of my darkest fears
Apples, green, with roses red
All now decays and lies there dead
But it meant more than it was
It means your love, Oh that it does
And so your touch, your eyes, they say
The meanings of tomorrow's yesterday
They speak of love and cheer my youth
They speak to me a flowers truth

Sand Dollar

I lost something of mine today
Something that I'd thought would stay
Now that it's gone, I wish I'd cry
But no tears will come from eyes
Put in a small glass box
I didn't think it needed locks
But here time came ans stole away
The one thing that I'd hoped would stay
Old scars open and bleed new tears
Coming back are banished fears
I've made mistakes and I still do
I didn't know the lie was true
How can one cry for a thing so small,
When for others she feels not at all?

A Poem Written By Both Kat and I

Tufted hair and glassy eyes
A dead Kat upon my floor lies
I killed her, it was an accident
To this I will swear

And Kat says "No she's lying
To this I will swear"

It was my grief that caused that Kat
To drop dead on my floor right there
She's lying still, she won't get up
I poked her with a spork
And then, to know I had good measure,
I tried a knife and fork

"She lies She lies"
The dead Kat cries upon the ashen floor

But truly I didn't think her dead
Until, I did see
That near her hair, there was a mouse
Gnawing on her teeth

After that I thought it wise
To hide all her remains
And so this poem is all that's left
To prove that I'm insane

Chain Letter

Whispered words which mean so much
     Words I feel that I can touch
Words I wish that I could hear
     But even so, they are so dear
Knowing that they come from you
     Makes my heart believe they're true
Sent from beyond my reach
     But you, my love, must still teach
My heart to love, my soul to trust
     Oh, truly love, you must! you must!

Cixna

Horridly, I wait for naught
In a lifeless, loveless realm
Where the shadows crowd the air
And the mortals shake and 'trelm

Supernatural here art kings
Rulers of the death and mist
Tombstones lie amongst the gray
Where lie those whom Death hath kissed

And, here spirits haunt the land
So men dare not dream to dread
This hopeless world, despised by many
Both the living and the Dead

The Dinner Party

Sunshine bright
So sweet, like honey
Love is hard
Not sweet and sunny
Despair becomes a usual guest
It comes with Love-
Both dressed their best
Despair, she is a cunning one
Who steals the heart
      You gave to Love

The Colors of the Year

In a Season of New Birth,
When the plants rise out of earth,
When the life begins anew,
Everything is green and blue.

In the Season of the Sun,
When the schoolwork is all done,
When the shy become the bold,
Everything is blue and gold.

In the Season of the Dead,
When the trees turn orange and red
When the leaves are falling down,
Everything is gold and brown.

In the Season of the Cold,
When the new becomes the old,
When the days are dark, not light,
Everything is snowy white.

A Shattered Fairytale

A romance tale,
Oh! To behold,
Two lovers lives,
So sweet and bold

They loved together,
Longed apart,
And when he died,
It broke her heart

He left the world-
She hid Away,
To say goodbye
Another day.

The Darkness in Shadows

In the shadow of the night
Shined on by the moon's fierce glare
In a cave far well and hidden
I have truly met despair
Love was lost and they have left
Leaving me alone to cry
After that I thought of leaving
I thought it better just to die

A Field of Butterflies

I stand upon a grassy hill
And here I feel an icy chill
I sit upon a dew filled grass
The grass is green, there is a flash
Of colors; red, orange, green and brown
That fly or sit upon the ground

Gehenna

The sky grows black
And darkness falls
The moon shines red
Crimson, like blood
My eyes now close
I start to cry
Why must everything I love die?
The leaves they shrivel
Rose petals fall
Now night is forever
And death is for all